Luis Duran's Philadelphia Eagles fan blog

The Crying Game pt. 2

Hello NFL fans,

    Here we are again with the on going drama that is the Valley of the Departed, or as you know them, the Dallas Cowboy fan base. You see after the critically acclaimed article The TO Story, there was only one thing I could do, make a crappy sequel! This sequel would not have been if not for the despicable actions of the Dallas Cowgirls and their equally brain dead fan base.

    As we all know Tereal Owins went ahead and started his bash-o-team techniques that we have come to know and love. Yes, yes I know it was all taken out of context, he just a competitor and he wants to win. Right you keep on saying that Valley of the Departed, you keep trying to convince yourselves that your are not blind. You believe everything that is portrayed as OK to be real. It was OK when you guys were rebuilding, for ten years! The only other team rebuilding for that long has been the Arizona Cardinals who still feel like a brand new franchise even though they have been in the league for 100 years.

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Wednesday Blast

Hello NFL Fans,

Once again it is time to blast your problems away on hump day. For those of you that do not know how this works, here it is. You let me know what is bothering you, football wise, since I am not a therapist. I post it on my weekly article and hopefully help relieve the stress in your life. I have received even more feedback since the last two Blasts. You guys are giving me great ammo to continue putting your opinions out there.

Let’s get right in it, we will start with the most requested and humiliated Raider Nation

“Why are you still alive Al?”

“Why are you still alive, to make our lives miserable? To make me want to put my head in oven? Not because we play bad, but because you makes look terrible. Why did you hire Kiffin if you were going to murder him in the media after a year. You imprison everyone who has anything to do with the franchise. We look somewhat decent, the worst part of our team is the Defense! Wake up old man, Ryan can’t make them play better, maybe it’s the scheme, maybe it’s the so called swagger that they have. I have not seen it, since a Rookie took it from us on opening day! A rookie! Al please just stop breathing, please let us try to start over with the players that are here.”

Continue reading "The Blast resumes"

Wednesday Blast

Hello NFL Fans,

Once again it is time to blast your problems away on hump day. For those of you that do not know how this works, here it is. You let me know what is bothering you, football wise, since I am not a therapist. I post it on my weekly article and hopefully help relieve the stress in your life. I have received even more feedback since the last two Blasts. You guys are giving me great ammo to continue putting your opinions out there.

Let’s get right in it, we will start with the most requested and humiliated Raider Nation

“Why are you still alive Al?”

“Why are you still alive, to make our lives miserable? To make me want to put my head in oven? Not because we play bad, but because you makes look terrible. Why did you hire Kiffin if you were going to murder him in the media after a year. You imprison everyone who has anything to do with the franchise. We look somewhat decent, the worst part of our team is the Defense! Wake up old man, Ryan can’t make them play better, maybe it’s the scheme, maybe it’s the so called swagger that they have. I have not seen it, since a Rookie took it from us on opening day! A rookie! Al please just stop breathing, please let us try to start over with the players that are here.”

Continue reading "The Blast resumes"

The Crying Game

The Terrell Owens story

Hello NFL fans,

Well here we are, week four of the third year with his last team. This will be his last team, I truly believe that. If I were an owner I would rather get a letter full of anthrax and then imprisoned IN Cuba to spend the rest of my days. The continuous onslaught of reporters and fans condemning my name and wanting my head on a stick would be too much for me to bare.

It is not that I do not want to see Tereal Owins (I will try and misspell his name every chance I get) win or be successful. It is just that he does not let himself be successful, by letting the team win without him having to be the focus of the world. He should be extremely honored that coaches spend 18 hours daily preparing to face him, preparing to cover him, preparing to execute their special packages for him. He wants more, not only does he beat those packages but he wants more, every pass, every play to have his name on it.

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Eagles -VS- Bears

Windy city Debacle

Hello Eagles fans,

Well what can we say after that wonderful gift we delivered to the city of Chicago. I felt sick for about three hours after the game, I didn’t want to be talked to or even wanted anything to do with stats and sports of any kind. After the Dallas game I knew we let one get away. After last night it became infuriating and now I just want Sunday to come so we can really find out what kind of team we have.

Every year there are one or two games that reflects the way your season will play out, last year I believe it was the Chicago game. We fought a great D with little offense and when we finally muster up the points to win the game, the D loses it for us. This game the defense showed us that it lacked focus but when it was regained, the game was there to win. The offense faltered in the red zone once again, when are we going fix this problem? Do we get a huge punishing back, why the lack of confidence in Baskett for the fade route, do we really need a taller receiver?

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NFC East

Week 4

Hello East fans,

Since there was only on division game this week the world was focused in Dallas.

The G-men were off this week and off out scowering jail cells for their great wide receiver. I am sure they will have enough time to bail him out since he ahs been suspended for a game for missing a team meeting. The Skins were in town to try and upset the undefeated Cowgals.

Both defenses started out playing great, they swarmed to the ball, covered tight and did not over pursue. Soon we saw the real Skins D as they were the first to give up the ghost and go down by a touchdown. Campbell made some awful throws and halted that Skin offense time after time. The Skins did not score until Campbell got some time to throw and then tied up the game with short passes and strong runs by Clown Portis.

Continue reading "NFC EAST"

Hello East fans,

Since there was only on division game this week the world was focused in Dallas.

The G-men were off this week and off out scowering jail cells for their great wide receiver. I am sure they will have enough time to bail him out since he ahs been suspended for a game for missing a team meeting. The Skins were in town to try and upset the undefeated Cowgals.

Both defenses started out playing great, they swarmed to the ball, covered tight and did not over pursue. Soon we saw the real Skins D as they were the first to give up the ghost and go down by a touchdown. Campbell made some awful throws and halted that Skin offense time after time. The Skins did not score until Campbell got some time to throw and then tied up the game with short passes and strong runs by Clown Portis.

Continue reading "NFC east"

The Blast 1.5

Hello Blast fans,

I know I was making this a weekly blog for all those problems with everyone’s teams. But the response to the Blast has been overwhelming and some of these are just to funny to wait any longer. Keep on emailing and commenting I love posting up what you guys want to say about your teams.

First off we start in MOTOWN!

“Thank you LORD, for taking the pain away”

“I know all the Lions’ problems will not be answered by getting rid of that inept jockstrap Millen. But at least now we have a new direction that doesn’t point to Hades. I have been a Lions fan since my grandfather tucked me in with stories of Bobby Lane. I will die a Detroit fan, and at least now there is a ray of hope and Mr. Ford has seen it. I will not sit here and bash Mr. Ford, he has done a lot of good things for the community and for the fan base of the Lions. But this was the one thing that we as loyal fans will some day hope to forget. I don’t care if we even win a game the rest of the season, well I do, but starting fresh feels better than listening to Jon (Holmgren Lover) Kitna state why it not his fault that he has so many interceptions or why he quits on play that is still going on.

Continue reading "More Blasting!"

The Blast 1.5

Hello Blast fans,

I know I was making this a weekly blog for all those problems with everyone’s teams. But the response to the Blast has been overwhelming and some of these are just to funny to wait any longer. Keep on emailing and commenting I love posting up what you guys want to say about your teams.

First off we start in MOTOWN!

“Thank you LORD, for taking the pain away”

“I know all the Lions’ problems will not be answered by getting rid of that inept jockstrap Millen. But at least now we have a new direction that doesn’t point to Hades. I have been a Lions fan since my grandfather tucked me in with stories of Bobby Lane. I will die a Detroit fan, and at least now there is a ray of hope and Mr. Ford has seen it. I will not sit here and bash Mr. Ford, he has done a lot of good things for the community and for the fan base of the Lions. But this was the one thing that we as loyal fans will some day hope to forget. I don’t care if we even win a game the rest of the season, well I do, but starting fresh feels better than listening to Jon (Holmgren Lover) Kitna state why it not his fault that he has so many interceptions or why he quits on play that is still going on.

Continue reading "More blasting!"

BLAST WEDNESDAYS

Hello NFL fans,

Well I am going to start up something new for all those NFL fans who have a lot to say but can’t get it out, enough. I have a lot of people writing, calling and just talking to me about the things that irk them about the NFL to include players, coaches, mascots, ticket prizes, play calls, cheerleaders…yes even that. I recently decided why not make a weekly manuscript about the things that hurt the fans, I know many legions of people out there are upset about their teams in some way shape or form. This is how we are going to do it every Wednesday, since it is the most boring day of the football week. Mondays and Sundays are game days. Tuesdays are layovers from the previous games and we seem to have nothing available in the middle of the week, until Friday when you get into college football mode.

Continue reading "Wednesday Blast!"