The Blast!

November 07, 2008

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Luis Duran

The Blast!

The Blast!

 

Hello Blast fans,

Well after a brief departure from my weekly post, it’s once again time to do some Blasting. This will be special edition of the blast since it will be directly pointed at everyone’s favorite team to hate. That’s right nothing but the blue and silver ladies who are settling down on earth and have seen the brutal reality.

So here we go let’s start of with some disturbed fans from Alabama who apparently has had enough of their team.

“Coming off the Fumes”

“Well here we are, after the over hyped off-season now we can truly see that Jerry has thrown this team straight into the lion’s pit. Going into a self proclaimed Superbowl” year the wheels are coming off the golden bus. Going into this season with a backup QB who would not be the third QB on any other team in our division was probably not the best idea, unless you knew the starter would take every snap. Which he probably would have if you would have actually evaluated the effectiveness of those pillars in front of him. I call them pillars because they are big, impossible to push over and immobile. Please, I am asking for some help, the defending champs went out and beefed up their qb position. They just won their Superbowl!!!!! We have not won a playoff game since my teenager was a toddler!!!!

There it is true fan letting you know the deal, we got more.

“My SuperBowl ring is in the mail”

“Hey Jerry I ordered my authentic replica SuperBowl ring for this season in May. The NFL Shop keeps sending me emails telling me that it will probably not be ready for another six months. I called and asked for their manager to let him know that since we knew we were going to be the champs this year I was ordering early. He apparently did not know that this was our year. So I explained to him that Jerry Jones surely had already had his made and I wanted the exact same one. I put him in his place after he reminded me that we were 5-4 and in last place in our division heading into November. Needless to say I pointed out the fact that you, Jerry Jones would take care of everything and he ended our conversation by telling me the ring was in the mail. I detected a hint of sarcasm, but I am sure it is in the mail.”

That was a classic, I love it and yes it’s in the mail.. LOL!!!

“Roy Williams is still jet lagged”

“Ever since he arrived in Texas, Roy has been on an amazing high. Now he is just hallucinating that he still might be in Detroit. One win in three games, two blowouts and a pathetic squeaker against Tampa. A crazy owner, problems with the defense, incredible talent on offense and at the bottom of their division. Motown…baby…Motown!”

“Hey Jerry!!!”

“ Hey Jerry!!!, I have some ideas to turn the season around. Check this out let me know if you think this might work.

1- Hire those Pacman bodyguards back to protect Tony Romo on game day.

2- Let the O-coordinator play for a quarter, then maybe he might start calling different pass plays that do not involve the QB being a sitting duck…Bootlegs!!!!

3- Go get Roy E. Williams and let him play safety, I am sure he will be better than the previous Roy back there.

4- Give TO the ball every single snap for the first half of the Skins’ game, that way he can make plays.

5- Break Daniel Snyder‘s pinky finger.

6 - Put Leonard Davis at fullback, maybe this way he can open up some holes for Marion

7 - Make Marion shave his head.. totally superstitious idea, it might work

8 - Fire Wade Phillips and hire John McCain as the interim “maverick”

9 - Make some funny t-shirts about our playoff drought, don’t know how that would work football wise. But t-shirt wise, it’s a golden idea!!!

10 - Finally let the Skins have free reign over Jessica Simpson before the game in their locker room. I am sure Tony would not mind if it get’s us a win.”

I think the Skins might take that last one into consideration.. lol.

One more from Florida where a brave Cowboy fan wants some of his questions answered.

“When will it be time to take the flags off my truck?”

“I talked way too much smack this past summer and now it is coming back to bite me. I was just wondering if anyone out there knew when it was time for me to put them away? I am not talking to you Cincy or Detroit fans, you guys were done three weeks ago. I am speaking to the Saints and Vikings fans, when do you know it’s time to reel it in? Mid- November, or early December I guess it depends on the losses up till then. Well, I will keep them up over the bye since I am pretty confident we won’t lose this week.”

There you have it Cowgirl fans, some great stuff right from the horse’s mouth. Take care and god speed pinky.

Here is idea for one of those funny t-shirts that need to be made.

I was over at one of my friend’s house last Sunday to watch some football. He happens to be a Cowboy fan and during the game I noticed his dog acting rather strange. He told me that every time the Cowboys get a first down in runs around in circles. Of course I did not believe it until I saw it with my own eyes. They got a first down and he run around in circles until the next play. “You should see what happens when we score” he told me. When they scored the mutt did a somersault, when they got a turnover he would walk on his hind legs, when they won the game he ran along the walls! “Wow, what does he does when you guys win a playoff game?” I asked. “I don’t know I’ve only had him for 12 years” he replied.

                               Keep on Blasting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Comments

  1. Luis, it'snice to see you back afer your "vacation" from Blogging!  But, did your entire post have to rip my team?  Peace!

    utopia1dcutopia1dc on Sunday, 09 November 2008, 09:19 PST # |

  2. Weak dude.  Take another vacation.  Just like the pigeons did last night.

    David SalinasCowboy Nation on Monday, 10 November 2008, 04:50 PST # |

  3. Man we suck don't we..wow this is going to be the year of the longest yard. I think we need to draft mike leach next April. WOW!

    Luis DuranLuis Duran on Monday, 10 November 2008, 08:25 PST # |

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