Blasting Away!

October 22, 2008

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Luis Duran

Blasting Away!

Wednesday Blast!

Somewhere the Tuna is smiling…


Hello Blast fans,

    It’s that time again, time to do some blasting and we got some great stuff from Frisco, KC and everywhere else. Now since there are an extremely large amount of blasts with a number of unsavory words. I take it upon myself to replace them and still keep the original statements intact.

Kansas city here we come!!!!

“Chiefs of futility”

“Okay so now I understand the reasoning behind not getting rid of Tony or LJ for some better picks or even players. We needed to suspend one and make the other one miserable. Okay I got it, yeah keep the woman assaulter I am sure nobody wanted him right. I read somewhere that about the asking price for Tony and we still did not pull the trigger… Does everyone know what the asking price was? A 2-3 rounder plus a player, a couple teams met this including the Eagles. Yet he is still a Chief and loving it after the drubbing we just got handed at the by the Titans. Unbelievable, how pathetic are we that we won’t even look to move a player that will probably be incarcerated soon, Genius!!! This is why we will win the division on our majestic road to the first of many Superbowl wins. WOW!”

I am predicting Brodie Croyle to be the MVP of the Superbowl while LJ watches from a correctional facility.

Next up we have a new edition to the Blast from an unlikely person… a Colts fan.

“Thank god for Notre Dame”

“If there was no Notre Dame this year I do not think I could bare to breathe. I do not think I could stand another losing season from the golden domes and the ponies in the same year. I wonder if Dungy knew his team was this bad. I am sure he knew since he tried to plug some holes over the trade deadline. Alas the NFL decided, no ponies you must suffer the consequences of not scouting and picking good defenders. I remember the day that Dungy was called a defensive genius. He must have left his notes in Tampa, I have already called Chucky Gruden to ask for a couple pages back, I don’t need the whole book just a couple on basics and tackling skills. He claims to not have them, he lies well that one. I have seen the Youtubes of those old Bucs teams that destroyed offenses every week. I watch them after I sob endlessly to calm me down and remember the promise that we longed so much for. In the end…Thank you Lord for Notre Dame”

Chill out you guys won a Superbowl two years ago, take a couple of years off.

Here we go from the bay area once more….

“Why now?”

“Why not in the preseason, why fire him during the season. Why not fire Martz for sticking with J.T. O’Sucksalot. I am sure Nolan agreed to it, but why now? Why not make Singletary the coach in the off-season that way we could blame him and hope for it to be better next year. Now we will have the ‘09 season for transitioning, what a pathetic joke of team we are. Joe Montana is turning in his grave right now, I know he just wishes he was dead. I miss those wonderful years when we were mediocre and Jeff Garcia was leading us to a middle of the pack year. I hope Nolan takes that wonderful pick he made with him to wherever he goes. At least he will be remembered for bringing back the suits. Will you take Martz with you Mike? I like to think of our front office as bunch of toddlers running around in diapers answering plastic play phones and drooling all over the Lombardi trophies, that helps me cope.”

Once again, chill out you guys got bunch of SuperBowls already, stop being greedy!!!

Continuing on with some more mail from

All the way from the rockin city by the lake, Cleveland!

“The Brady Chick”

“I am extremely happy with the way that the Browns are handling their terrible QB play. I might be getting pretty crazy wanting to win and start getting spotty vision. But I think the kid needs to come in and play to let us see if we should stop asking for him. Just because I think he is extremely hot and is from my hometown and I sleep in his ND jersey, has nothing to do with it. It was like when we kept asking for Eric Zeier to play after Vinny was stinking it up and look what happened. His name was to never be mentioned again, especially since he left with Art during the “Great Depression“. Anderson had a great year and now he’s just missing and his WR’s are dropping everything like it’s hot. Maybe if there is a shake up then they might get a better focus on this season. One more thing, it is time to trade away Winslow, I am sick of him being a baby. Every cane tight end that comes into the league with any type of hype is just that i.e. Shockey, Olsen. I might be a chick but I love my Brownies and a certified Brady buncher, until he starts sucking, then it's off with his head!”

Keep on dreaming, I do not see that happening unless they tank the season in the next couple of weeks.

We could not have a Blast without mentioning America’s Joke…here a couple from OK and a brave fan from Maryland.

“We really did not need those picks!”

“No we really didn’t, for what a secondary maybe, naw we got one right?

So what if Sunday’s game looked like the Horns against the Rice Owls, at least Jerry Jones is risk taker! Yeah! Give up four picks for this guy, if the Detroit lions magically have a secondary next year I am going to scream!”

“Let Tony play!”

“Why not, with a broken finger we had a better chance of winning that with that relic attempting to run an offense. Oh we have the most talented team and all this jazz. How do we lose to the second worst team in the league? Can you answer me that Wade? Why are you letting TO yell at everyone when they do something wrong and you do not say anything when he continues to drop passes? Oh I know because he is such a great competitor right? Our secondary is paper thin and you go out and get another WR, why?  Am I crazy…HELLO!!!!!!!! How can you not see that, my half-blind grandfather can see that. He doesn’t even like football, baseball is his game but after the last couple of games we watched together he asked me why their WR’s are always catching TD’s on us? Do you know how infuriating it is to try and explain that we don’t suck to a senile 78 year old man? I think you try to do that every time you look in the mirror, thanx Jerry.”

Well on that note we will be done for the week, hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did. Honorable mention to the continuous barrage of emails from Detroit and Seattle, keep your heads down guys….LOL!

Keep Blasting!!!!!

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  1. always...good stuff!  To my fellow Cowboys blaster...chill dude!  There wasn't a CB that Jerry could have traded for except Lito Shepperd...and that's not going to happen...same division!  Jerry had a plan at CB...he has two high priced starters...took a chance on Pacman, and drafted two more to boot!  If you can't stop them from scoring...then you got to try to outscore them...hence the trade for Roy Williams.  Brad Johnson needs to win one of the next two games so the Cowboys can be at 5-4 heading into the bye.  Romo comes back after that with not much room for error.  The Cowboys will need to go 6-1 or 5-2 and finish at 11-5 or 10-6...which will get them a wild-card spot...then see what happens!  Peace!

    utopia1dcutopia1dc on Saturday, 25 October 2008, 15:41 PDT # |

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